Are you in a relationship? If you are, then are you getting the feeling that your boyfriend controls you in some way or the other? I think you are here to find out just that. And let me tell you, you have come to the right place. Don’t worry! By the end of this article, all your doubts will be cleared. Here are 10+ prominent signs that proves you have a controlling boyfriend.
First I need to tell you what a controlling relationship means. When you are in a relationship with a person, you expect your own space and privacy. This is a basic requirement for every individual.
If your boyfriend calls you every few hours to check up on you or to question your whereabouts, it might seem very sweet at first. You must think he cares about you a lot.
But you should keep in mind, many controlling, abusive, and dominant relationships start off this way. Sometimes, these types of people act completely opposite so that they do not scare away the other person.
Slowly they start showing their true colors. If this is what’s happening to you, you should not blame yourself at all. This is not your fault. You could not have known.
Usually, in this type of relationship, the controlling person acts very cool at first and does not seem to mind anything that you do. But slowly they involve themselves in your business and try to interfere in every sphere of your life.
These types of boyfriends can even become abusive. You might get emotionally or even physically abused if you don’t identify the nature of your relationship at an early stage.
So when you start seeing things that you do not like, don’t hesitate. speak up! Try to solve the issues with him. Sometimes people become controlling unintentionally and communicating about this issue can actually help to resolve things and make everything work out.
But even after constant efforts of trying to fix the issue does not work then you surely have got a problem in your hands. And only you can save yourself from a lifetime of misery.
The signs mentioned below are the most prominent signs that you have a controlling boyfriend. Which might turn into an abusive relationship. But don’t be scared, we are here to help you. Without any further delay, let’s get started!
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1.Your boyfriend does not trust you.
Relationships are built on trust and honesty. Unless you gave him a reason not to trust you, he should trust and believe you. If he does not, then that is a red flag and you should try to talk to your partner about it. It can be underlying insecurities that he is taking out on you.
If you don’t try to fix it as soon as you notice, it will keep on increasing. It would cause a lot of damage to your relationship too. Trusting one other is one of the basic ingredients of a healthy relationship.
If you get a feeling that what he is doing is wrong then you got to save yourself from this and do the necessary.
2. He criticizes you most of the time.
Healthy criticism is actually a good thing in a relationship. Pointing out each other’s flaws and trying to make each other a better person is one of the best things to do. But there is a boundary to which you should be allowing it.
If your boyfriend criticizes constantly for things like your looks or your appearance then that is definitely not normal. You should stop him then and there. Firstly, being criticized for your physical appearance can shatter your confidence completely.
You are the only person who should decide how you wanna look. He has no right to decide what kind of dress you should wear or what type of make up you do or how much weight you lost/put on.
3. You feel isolated from your family and friends.
In this type of relationship, the controlling or the dominant person try to talk you into isolating yourself from your friends and family. You don’t even realize how it happened. Suddenly, you see yourself missing out all the parties with your friends.
You don’t meet up or catch up with your family or friends as much as you used to mostly because your boyfriend does not “approve” you to do that
This sign is a major red flag. If your man starts behaving like this try to distance yourself. No man, who loves you, would try to separate you from your loved one. No sane person would behave like this. Sure he would try to manipulate you or play the victim card but do not fall for the crocodile tears. You deserve better than this.
4. His love depends upon mood and time. It means boyfriend is controlling you
In a relationship, what do people expect? Love, respect and care right? If you are not getting the prime things then, maybe you should think twice about your relationship. A controlling boyfriend will always try to benefit himself through everything that he makes you do.
He would even blackmail or threaten you to get what he wants. He would say things like “you do this otherwise we are done” “you can’t even do this much for me, maybe we should break up” These are blackmailing.
Do not fall for these things. He might try to act as if he loves you very much but in reality, what he is doing is trying to control you. He getting what he wants out of you. Logically saying, a man who loves you would never blackmail or threaten you to do something. Even you are smart even to understand that!
5. He behaves like a parent.
Your boyfriend should be supporting you and motivating you to do better things in life. I’m not saying parents always control their children but they do have a certain amount of control over their children to mark their authorities over you.
A boyfriend should not be behaving like that. You should understand that he does not own you and you are not his property. You are an independent individual who’s free to do anything she likes as long as it is morally correct.
He should not decide where you are allowed to go or what you’re supposed to wear. Or which friend you should not meet.
You know what’s best for you. You have grown enough. And if your boyfriend is doing this then he is trying to control you and your life.
Do not give him the gear of your life. It’s your life and you should be able to handle and live it in your own ways.
6. He does not want you to have male friends.
If your boyfriend gets angry or disappointed whenever you make a male friend or whenever you talk about a male friend, that is a major red flag. This only shows how insecure and paranoid he is about you and this relationship.
Having male friends who are supportive and understanding is a great thing. You can go to them for help and they always help you out, as long as they don’t have any other intention. You should hold on to friends like these. Don’t lose them.
7. He emotionally abuses you.
Emotional abuse is one of the worst thing that can happen to anyone. It drains you out and leaves you hollow from inside. It is practically mental torture. You should understand that you are in a relationship to be happy not to get abused by some sick dude.
How to identify emotional abuse? You can see there is a pattern of behavior that includes aggressive behavior, manipulation, and humiliation. When he is frustrated he takes out that frustration on you every time.
He manipulates you and ticks you in doing things you would not do otherwise. And the cherry on top is that he sugar coats all of this. And somehow make you believe at the end that he is very much in love with you. But this cycle continues.
Firstly, you need to understand that this is not loving. This can never be love. A person you loves you would not manipulate or humiliate you ever. This is just him trying to control you and destroying your mental peace.
If you do not get out of this abusive relationship, you will be traumatized for the rest of your life and you will end up with depression along with other psychological issues.
8. He does not care about your happiness.
The most important reason to be in a relationship is to be happy. If you’re happy and satisfied in your love life a lot of problems disappear from other aspects of life. But if your love life with your boyfriend is a mess, chances are your problems might increase, at least it would seem so.
In a healthy relationship caring about each other’s happiness is a must. If you love someone you would automatically want to keep them happy. But when your motto is something else you treat people otherwise. So, if your boyfriend does not care about your happiness or your need then, trust me, he does not love you.
If you tried to talk to him about this with no efforts from his side then it’s really time to move on from this relationship. He’s just trying to undermine you.
If he respected you enough he would care for your happiness. But it is evident from their behavior it is not. Let it go. Move on. Because you definitely deserve better than this.
9.He tries to make you feel dependent on him.
You know you are an independent woman who does not need to depend on a man to pay her bills or to feed her. So why let any guy treat you this way? If your boyfriend is trying to make you more dependent on him and exerting his existence more and more, he is definitely trying to control you.
Be smart enough to understand this in the initial stages because later it might turn into a big pile of problems that you cannot bear. No matter how much he tries to show that he is doing this because.
He loves you or he wants to protect you don’t give away your independence because eventually he would turn this into a toxic relationship and you surely don’t want that.
10. You find yourself apologizing for everything.
If you have a controlling boyfriend you might also notice that you are saying sorry or apologizing for everything. Even when it is not your fault. You know why? Because your boyfriend always manipulates you and makes you feel like it was your fault even when it wasn’t.
This is extremely frustrating, right? He is allowing you to feel like you’ve done something wrong over and over again which is extremely unhealthy for your mental health. Always remember, you come first. And nobody can take better care of you than yourself. Be observant and don’t ignore signs.
11. Trust your intuition.
Trusting your intuitions is one of the best things you can do in life. Gut feeling is most of the time right. Do not ignore the red flags in the initial stages of the relationship as those are the one which makes you suffer the most later.
If you feel it’s wrong then it might be wrong. Take action, speak about it, try to fix the issue but do not ignore it because later you might not get a chance to fix this and regret it forever. Take it very seriously if you notice all the 10 prominent signs you have a controlling boyfriend.
So if you don’t like something that your boyfriend does, be it disrespect, humiliation, aggressive behavior, try to talk it out. If he does not put effort too, just know that he never loved you and you saved yourself a lot of time and energy.
What to do when you discover the signs of a controlling boyfriend?
The first thing that you should do is calmly sit down and think it through. If more than 5 signs match the situation of your relationship with your boyfriend then you definitely have a controlling boyfriend. This might even lead to an abusive relationship if you don’t take necessary actions.
After discovering the nature of your relationship, the second thing that you should do is talk to your boyfriend about this. Talk to him openly about what is bothering you.
In some cases, it happens that people unknowingly behave in a controlling way with no intention of hurting another person. If after the talk, you see significant changes in his behavior, in a good way, then you’ve got yourself quite a good man.
But if it happens so, that even after constantly trying to make him understand there’s no effort from his side to make things right then its time to seriously reconsider being in that relationship. This man does not respect you, let alone love you.
To love someone, respect is really necessary. And if he loved you, he would have tried to change his attitude and behavior towards you. But he didn’t! And there you have your answer. You don’t need a relationship where there is no respect.
There are plenty of other people who would love to date you. You need to know your worth. Because they treat you how you allow them to treat yourself. So value yourself more than anything!
These were the 10+ prominent signs that you have a controlling boyfriend.
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Conclusion.
Relationships are quite complicated nowadays. In the era of the internet, mostly social media, people actually forget to have actual conversations. They take each other for granted. Sometimes relationships become the competition.
They try to be dominant on each other, forcing the other to be submissive. This type of behavior is very toxic. We should understand that a healthy relationship is that when both people put equal efforts for each other. They both try to make each other happy and take care of each other.
Fights are very normal in relationships but the couple should be fighting together against the problem. It should not be like they are fighting against each other which is the case, most of the time, in relationships nowadays. We do not actually try to fix things, we just try to prove our point which does not solve the issue.
We care more about winning the argument rather than solving the problems. That is why most of the relationships fail. Nowadays, when two people are in a relationship, one of them is too dominant and the other one has to be submissive.
Ultimately, this pair does not match and they split up. What we need to look for is a person who cares about saving the relationship and not winning the arguments. If two people put equal efforts and love and care for each other that would be an unbreakable bond and that is what we should shrive for.
